As I tried to pull myself together, I looked at Mr. Library and lit up. This part was two years in the making, and it was time to become husband and wife. I kept squeezing his hand as Father Walter spoke. When I get excited about something, I tend to make faces. A lot. There are some pretty good faces our videographers picked up during the ceremony.
Father Walter asked everyone to be seated and then welcomed our guests to our ceremony. Because Mr. Library and I are from two different sects of faith (I’m Protestant and he’s Catholic), it was important to us that everyone, no matter what faith or spiritual background, be welcome at our ceremony. Father Walter did a wonderful job with that. He explained that our wedding party was made up of a great number of different religions, and that was probably also reflected in our friends and family. No matter what faith, we were here to love one another in the presence of family, friends, and a higher power (sorry Atheists!).
After the opening prayer, we had our readers take the floor. The day before, we had practiced with Rachel reading first, but during the ceremony, Father Walter said that a poem special to us as a couple would be read first. Ralph was the poem reader, not Rachel. Because of the wording mix-up, Ralph thought he was supposed to go first but was stopped when he went to speak. Father Walter tried to discretely direct him, but Ralph is hard of hearing being as he is 92 years old. After a minute or two of confusion, Rachel began to read.
“What is Real?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
As an English teacher and a lover of children’s literature, this reading was perfect. The Velveteen Rabbit was one of my favorite books growing up, so it was like I was bringing Mr. Library full circle in my life. He is my Real. And while I may still have my hair and eyes, with him, they don’t matter so much. I’d rather be Real too.
Ralph read the poem that Mr. Library picked after that. The emotion of his voice caught once or twice reading it, and I can only imagine that he was thinking about his wife Lillian, the woman playing the keyboard. They have been together for years, and I know Mr. Library idolizes their relationship. The tears filled his eyes as he read “I Love You” by Roy Croft from his scroll (his touch!).
I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.
Mr. Library is a poet at heart, and this poem spoke beautifully to how we feel about each other. We couldn’t have asked for two better readers or two better readings.
It was then time to move into our vows and rings. Father Walter broke with the traditional flow a little bit by speaking to the crowd about how weddings typically take place in a church, but with the beauty of the forest and river around us, you could feel God’s presence everywhere here. I still cringe a little bit about this part, though it was meant to be positive. Lots of people had raised an eyebrow or two (including Mr. Library) when the idea of getting married on the bridge came up. I am of the religious camp that believes that you don’t have to be in a church to know and feel God, so getting married on a bridge was just celebrating what He made. I understand the structural importance of a church, and the spiritual importance for some, but I didn’t want some people murmuring about how this marriage should have taken place in a church. Thankfully, I didn’t hear any.
Our vows were very traditional. Due to the pressure of the day, we knew we didn’t want to have to memorize something (I would have totally forgotten!), and Father Walter had encouraged us to do vows that others would appreciate and understand. While I had originally wanted to write our own, I was just as happy to write Mr. Library a letter before the ceremony and then speak vows that had been taken by our parents and grandparents before us at the wedding.
The first part of the vows was a question and answer session. Father Walter had not told us what the questions were the day before, so we hadn’t practiced answering them. Anyone else see where this is going?
Have you come together to make this arrangement freely and without reservations?
Oh crap. Do we say, “We do?” Do we say, “Yes?” What do we say?! Being the smart couple we are, we decided to divide and conquer. I said, “We do.” Mr. Library said, “Yes.” And everyone else laughed. A lot.
Will you love and honor each other for the rest of your lives?
We still didn’t have our answer completely down in unison, so we took a minute to look at each other and let the other make the first noise. It came out something like, “Yyyyyyyyessss!” Again, everyone had a good laugh at this. I found it hilarious.
Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to our faith’s traditions?
With lots of head nodding to let the other know what answer to go with, we both said yes this time.
After we had our answers relatively down pat, Father Walter had us individually repeat after him.
“I, Mr./Ms. Library, take you, Ms./Mr. Library, to be my wife/husband,I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”
Our gorgeous rings were blessed, and we exchanged them (I pointed to the finger Mr. Library had to put it on for him!) by saying,
Mr./Ms. Library, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Father Walter then said those magical words: We were officially husband and wife! We were then allowed to kiss! We tried to not make it too PG13 so it was pretty short, but my lip gloss had plans to stick around a lot longer.
We lit the Unity Candle, kissed again, and listened to the end prayer. What felt like years of planning was over in about fifteen minutes! But we loved it. And we loved each other.
Now it was time to exit and get the party started!
Walk me through this:
Our bridal party began to come together!
We did as UPS does!
We’re cat-walking baby!
We practiced eating!
Our wedding gets Jewish!
The girls and I have a slumber party!
I fell in love with a poet.
Mr. Library runs around.
Wake up call!
Christmas in July
Hairscapades abound
Making us up as we go
The Groom Squad strikes back
Magical flowers
We get the deets.
What should I wear today?
Click click click flash
Ding ding ding goes the trolley
The Groom Squad activates
We hear the music.
The guests are coming! The guests are coming!
Let’s have a parade!
A walk to remember
Then MIL Library and FIL Library took the stage (and you may now see where Mr. Library gets his antics),
followed by our youngest wedding party members.
Our wedding party made the most of their entrances and really showed off their personalities…
The party girls!
The smiley, relatively calm ones!
The popular (and super tall!) ones!
The confident ones!
As we boogied our way through, we were cheered on by our friends and family. I love looking at the smiles on everyone’s faces in all of our photos. All that love…
With everyone situated, we began some of the most varied and interesting wedding speeches I have ever witnessed…
