I am that bridesmaid. The one who seems so demure and ready to help out and totally innocent. Then I surprise everyone at Miss Sox’s bridal shower with… what for it… a panty line!
No, not the kind that show through your pants. The kind that supply the bride with a little embarrassment and a whole lot of frilly panties for the honeymoon!
I had seen other brides posting about how their bridesmaids had surprised them with lingerie and had attached poems to them with funny lines. I figured that it would only be appropriate if I tried my hand at it, but since I knew that there were going to be some classier ladies at the party, I went for the PG rating.
Here’s how our line started:
Dear Miss Sox, the Bride-to-Be,
Today, for your bridal shower,
I thought you could use a surprise
So I bought you some things
For only Mr. Sox’s eyes.
But since there are so many people around,
and they all want you to share,
you must show what you get,
each and every pair!
These first ones are for your wedding night.
Modest ones? Nope, these are naughty,
But let’s just focus on the groom’s cute face
When he sees that his wife is such a hottie!
The second pair is for Mexico
On your honeymoon.
Put these on and prepare
To make Mr. Sox swoon.
After a year has passed, you will face
Anniversary number one.
These will come in handy when
You both decide to celebrate with some fun.
When time is fly by,
And there are no “if,” “and,” “buts,” or “maybes,”
You can wear pink or blue
To celebrate your new baby!
After all of those years, it will be time
To celebrate the big 2-5.
You might want to put on these
To help keep the sparks alive.
Finally, when you reach a certain age,
You may grow tired of the smut,
So throw on this lovely pair
To cover up your butt!
LOVE,
Ms. Library!
Her face when she opened it was, to say the least, hilarious!
But then again, her future mother-in-law’s face was much more embarrassed, so much so that she was doubled over to hid the three shades of red spreading across her face. After all of the gifts were opened, Mommy Sox came up to me, patted me on the back, and said that she had never seen Mr. Sox’s mom so beside herself. “Nicely done!” were her parting words before we moved on to the next part of the shower. Awesome!
Now, I’m pretty sure that payback may be a bit mean, but it was worth it. Happy bridal shower Miss Sox! We all hope that you enjoyed your day and don’t want to kill us too badly!
